So Close.

Today marks the half way point of month one.  In an attempt to rid our lives of excess we are dedicating the next seven months to seeking God rather than things.   This month I am eating only seven foods.  Chicken, spinach, apples, cheese, wheat bread, avocado and Shakeology (this one might be cheating, but the seven of us agreed it could count as one item...don't judge).  Days one and two were really hard as I had to get through without coffee, but as the first weekend approached (and I had stopped thinking about coffee) I felt it would be smooth sailing.  I picked REALLY good things.  If I couldn't live off the items I chose without complaining, I had serious issues.  Well, guess what?  I have serious issues.  I've been counting down the days until March since the day we started.  Grilled chicken breast stuffed with goat cheese over a bed of sauteed spinach just simply isn't good enough for me.  I need pasta with a Caesar salad, turkey surprise (one of my specialties) and chocolate!  I'm dying without Thai food and don't know how much longer I can go without frozen yogurt.  I need variety.  I need more than chicken.  I'm sick of chicken!  I stop myself as my mind goes through the things I can't have, the things I need.  Need?  How pathetic am I for thinking I NEED frozen yogurt.  I have so much more than so many people.  I have decisions to make every day regarding meals even with only seven items.  What should I have for breakfast?  Should I bake the chicken now so I can shred it over a salad tonight for dinner?  Tears fill my eyes as I think of the children I share this city with that won't get dinner tonight. As I cry for those without choices, I cry for myself as well.  I cry because I don't think about how lucky I am to have the things I do.  I cry because I have turned luxuries into needs.  I cry because I'm not the only one.  Are you like me?  Do you think you need more when in truth you have too much?  Today not only marks the half way point, it also marks the day I decide to stop complaining.  Two weeks left of only seven foods.  Two weeks for me to thank God for providing me with the luxury of those seven foods.  My only hope is that I hold the thoughts of this month with me forever, that I always remember I have more than I need and that I continue to seek God when I think I need more.

Julie