Friday, March 16, 2012

Patent Leather High Heels

ATTENTION: I wrote this on March 2nd, but am just now able to sit still long enough to post it.

Yesterday was the first day of clothing. Already liberating. I think finally, at 35, I have found my sense of style. Additionally, this liberation has a 2two-fold benefit: #1- less time in closet pondering what to wear and #2- less money spent on things that don’t fall into my new style category.

I chose nude patent leather 3 ½ inch heels as one of my shoe choices. This is an attempt to be more feminine for my husband and myself. I am a 6-foot, 18-year military veteran who played basketball in college (not quite the ingredients for sophistication and grace….)

So my idea was to wear the heels every Tuesday and Thursday when my boys are in school as those are the days I primarily sit and work at the computer.

Alas, Day 1 (a Thursday) did not really go as I thought it would.

Jeans, long sleeved white Tshirt and my nude heels. OK? OK.

That was an absolutely appropriate outfit to drop my boys off at school- Las Vegas sees high heels all the time. Also, fine to wear to Megan’s house for our 7 meeting and discussion of clothing month.

An errand to WalMart to pick up children’s craft supplies? Not as cool. What?!! WalMart is a green light- all things are a go there… I right?

At 11:30 am as I entered WalMart, I realized that my time limit for high heel shoes had been exceeded. (I put them on at 7:30 am) Please know- I am a stay-at-home mom and my heels nor legs get that kind of action very often. As I attempt to maintain balance and poise, I pass by a man in his late 30s with his 5 or 6 year old son. The man is smiling at me while the boy looks around- I get nervous and embarrassed as I am out of my element in these heels. So I glance to and fro- not wanting to make eye contact, but finally look at both of them, smile and say, “hi”. I walk on by and I hear the man tell his son, “You see her? You don’t mess with those kind of women because those long legs could get you into trouble.”

Now, now, I thought this man new the kind of person I was. Didn’t he see my green and gold St Patrick’s Day nail polish, the children’s craft supplies in my hands, the angry birds stickers all over my purse and my custodial set of keys on my carabineer with a remote control to my mini van on it? I thought he knew… I thought he knew I was a mom on a mission for a craft project. Guess not.

I got a couple of other looks and felt uncomfortable. I guess I got what I indirectly asked for- attention, but that was definitely not my purpose. So of course I tried to up my kindness factor in case God wanted to act somehow through me. I offered a woman and her son to go in front of me in line, I smiled and made eye contact with many people, and finally asked to help someone in a motorized shopping cart if I could assist them getting items off the top shelf (my personal favorite tall person move…)

Then, I got back into the car and drove off to get gas. On the 2 minute drive to Sam’s gas station, a song came on the radio ad the only thing I heard was:

“When people look at you, do they see Jesus?”

Well, Emily, do they? How about that man with his son? What about it Emily?

Thursday, March 15, 2012

I really like clothes.

Because I work at a clothing store I was permitted 14 articles of clothing as opposed to 7 like the other girls.  Because I have 14, I feel like I'm cheating....a little bit.  Because I have 14, I thought this month would be easy.  Guess what?  It's not.  

Two pair of jeans, a white tee, an orange tee, a black tee, a white blouse, a black sweater, a black dress, a green dress, boots, heels, wedges and flats as well as one workout outfit (including shoes).  As I type this I feel pretty stupid.  Am I about to complain about how difficult this is?  How hard it is to decide to wear either a black or green dress?  Heels or wedges?  I was about to.  I'm stopping myself.  

I really like clothes.  I care about what people think.  I dress to impress.  Why?  I'm not even sure myself.  When am I truly going to figure out that I need to stop seeking out the things of this world?  When will I realize that 4 white blouses are more than enough?  When will I understand that my friends do not care if I wear the same dress to more than one shower?  Hopefully now......

Saturday, February 25, 2012

heaven's celebration

I had an unexpected, yet sweet moment on the way to taking our son to preschool last week. It started when he asked what happened to all the people in the bible. I said that they lived a long time ago, but those who loved Jesus are in heaven now and we'll get to meet them someday when we are in heaven. The conversation continued with questions and thoughts about Jesus and heaven and it came to a point where I asked him if he wanted to ask Jesus to come and live in his heart. He said yes and said he would pray. But when he began, he didn't know what to say. I asked if he wanted me to pray first and he could repeat. When he said yes, I pulled over to the side of the road because this wasn't just any old prayer to say while driving. So, with the engine running and the car parked just outside of the round-about by our neighborhood, he asked Jesus into his heart. When we finished, I looked back in the rear view mirror and he had his shy-looking smile on his face. It was a simple, yet powerful moment.
We talked about his prayer on the rest of the drive to preschool. I kept telling him how excited Jesus was and that there was a big party going on in heaven. I also told him that when ever someone asks when he asked Jesus into his heart, he can tell them he was sitting in his car seat, pulled over on the side of the road and he prayed the prayer with his mom and his little sister sitting next to him. I pray that the moment does hold firm in his heart.
What a humbling moment to be able to share that prayer with your child. I was shaking with reverence all morning and I realized the impact that his prayer was having on my own heart. I also recognize that when the holy spirit is prompting you, don't shy away from it. Our son is pretty young to make such an important prayer and I could have just let the conversation about heaven fade away. But something was telling me to ask him if he wanted to ask Jesus into his heart. That moment and opportunity may have been lost. God is working and it's amazing to see Him work in little hearts too.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Hello it's Molly here. Just taking a moment to clarify, I AM NOT PREGNANT! The last blog was authored by Ashley. That's all:)

Friday, February 17, 2012

Dirty Little Secret...

It all happened today. Dirty little secret exposed.

As far as month one goes for 7 and myself I got the long end of the stick on this one... and my beloved friends all got the short end. Being newly prego (with our fourth...wait wha??? oh yes, the FOURTH) my Dr. nixed the 7 foods. She gave a very very long explanation as to why, and I have to be transparent in saying that relief filled the back of my head. We came to an agreement... she said I could try and stick to 15 (ok, come on, one of them is flax oil... that is NOT a food) foods but that I needed to pay attention to what my body was wanting and make exceptions. Especially seeing as I'm not typically a big meat eater, and our house is dairy/gluten free due to my kiddos allergies, I got the "listen to your body" issue she wanted to cover. So I have been... although I have been avoiding driving down Eastern so I dont pass by Krispy Kreme donuts. I'm pretty sure that is NOT something my body craves... just my spoiled, uncontrolled, out of discipline head. So ya, I can eat... but no sweets. Tell that to another prego lady and see what happens.

So today I almost didn't send the text that revealed the dirty little secret to my fellow 7 sisters... I felt guilty. Like I had another little pass that I should have shared with them earlier. I have seen them, heard them, and have read about them doing an amazing job with 7 foods, for half a month now. My 7 sisters aren't fragile people, they are AMAZING and completely after His heart, His will and His plan for their life. I want to be just like them when I grow up!! Or when my belly grows down...whichever.

So here is my dirty little secret...
Sent via text

Here is the response I got within hours-

I am not alone!!! I thought to myself "what would Hatmaker say???" then I realized she would probably want to kick herself for not discovering Molly's mint choc chip ice cream gum. I mean seriously... awesomesauce.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Hi, It's Molly again...

All I can say today is... OUCH! Who knew that there was so much work to be done in me? Ok, don't answer that. It was completely hypothetical. But really all this time all I needed was a limited menu and bland food to bring to light all my idols and perfectly disguised sins. Sounds simple enough but why does it happen to be so painful?

Here's how it all went down. I am being super transparent now people so don't judge me! Last night as I am checking email(insert idol), reading blogs(insert idol), checking Facebook(insert idol), you get the picture. I am overwhelmed with a sense of discontentment and quite frankly, envy. Suppressing the inner nagging voice.. or otherwise affectionately known as the "Holy Spirit" I continued on with my night time rituals and went off to bed. Sleep came quick and morning came even quicker along with the overwhelming heaviness on my heart. Immediately God speaks to me.. I'm serious. Literally says "Molly, get on your face and repent!" So I obey. Because that is what you do when God calls you out. And He began to reveal the truth behind my envy and discontentment.

Time out... I know this is alarming and somewhat gross but it gets better, wait for it...

At this point I began to realize that the really messed up thing is, what I was longing for was not name brand purses, sports car, or the perfect body. It was the peace I read in the words of other believers, the excitement I hear in the voices of people who are experiencing God sized answered prayers, the walk I see in my fellow sisters as if they are levitating before my eyes. And all along Jesus is pursuing me relentlessly because He wants more of me. He wants to bless me with more of Him. But, sadly I've been too distracted to notice the intimate relationship that my Savior longs to share with me.

Yes, He and I are close. No denying He is my first love.. But He wants to be more. And as I wept this morning with the realization of what I long for most in this world, He is waiting to lavish exactly that on me if only I'll make room for it. Here we go..... pruning the weeds and overgrowth of the American Dream to inherit the Kingdom of God here and now!

Truth really does hurt. But, brings so much freedom.

Valentine's Day

I’m Emily and my choices of food are chicken, cheese, bread, lettuce, sweet potatoes, apples, and eggs. Quite a few good choices, I’d say, that when prepared the right way would be fit for a king.

I am doing well in this endeavor as I like structure and must somehow like to feel confined. I have barely eaten any lettuce or sweet potatoes, so my digestive system has not been quite right since the beginning of this. I love bread and eggs, and could eat that my entire life. But man, how I’d love a coke and some chips, some wine and salami, oooh, beer and pizza.

Our council decided to allow a free pass one meal this month. I chose Valentine’s Day with the family at a steak restaurant. The beer was full bodied and very tasty. I loved each sip. I ordered filet mignon, sautéed spinach and a loaded baked potato- perfect anti-7 mentality. (I feel like I haven’t learned anything in this experiment if I simply order the “American consume way” at my first opportunity.) However, this was a taste of remembrance of what I have left behind- of what all of us seven girls have left behind when we committed to this experiment.

May we emerge from these seven months as changed individuals. Hopefully, it will be lasting and evident in our decision making.

By simply removing many food choices this month, I have forced myself to have forethought on my decisions and restraint when faced with choices outside my committed foods. I have a sense of thankfulness for all that I have- the amount of food, my family's health, the comfort of a home….

May this experiment show us specific areas in which we are too consumed in our busy lives to focus on the things God gives. I hope we will be thankful everyday and that we will strive to meet the needs of others that do not have what our privilege life has given to us.

I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”


My goal is to not be like the Christian that Gandhi observed.